Note: This is a continuation of Parts I, II, and III. If you haven't read those yet, I suggest reading them before continuing.
The Kingdom of Heaven is Within Part I
The Kingdom of Heaven is Within Part II
The Kingdom of Heaven is Within Part III
The How
Having learned the individual is responsible for his future and for his destiny, the question arises as to how can a personal take upon himself responsibility?
I. Desire
The first step in improving our character is desire. Desire is everything. Just as gasoline keeps a car running, desire keeps our souls in motion. Without desire we become stagnant and regress while moving along life half-awake. Desire is the motive underlying action. As a result, desire is the cause of successful result.
To success in anything you must want it very much...The stronger the Desire the greater the force set in motion. You must want a thing hard enough before you can get it. You must want it more than you do the things around you, and you must be prepared to pay the price for it. The price is the throwing overboard of certain lesser desires that stand in the way of the accomplishment of the greater one...As a rule, the greater the thing desired, the greater the price to be paid for it.
Do you really want the things as much as a prisoner wants freedom -- as much as a dying man wants life?...Do you work for the desired things as if your life depended on it? -- William W. Atkinson, Thought Vibration
Thus, before embarking on the journey of self improvement, of obtaining the kingdom of heaven within, there are two questions you should ask yourself: First, how much do you want it? Second, What are you willing to give up for it?
The Lord instructed His disciples to count the cost before following Him. We must do the same. The reward of embarking of this journey of achieving heaven within is to put on the character of God. Exaltation only occurs when one has adopted the same character as the Son and Father.
How was Christ saved and exalted? The Lectures on Faith answers:
."..because he is a just and holy being; and if he were any thing different from what he is he would not be saved; for his salvation depends on his being precisely what he is and nothing else; for if it were possible for him to change in the least degree, so sure he would fail of salvation and lose all his dominion, power, authority and glory, which constitutes salvation; for salvation consists in the glory, authority, majesty, power and dominion which Jehovah possesses, and in nothing else; and no being can possess it but himself or one like him: Thus says John, in his first epistle, 3:2 and 3: Behold, now we are the sons of God, and it doth not appear what we shall be; but we know, that when he shall appear we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. And any man that has this hope in him purifies himself, even as he is pure.—Why purify himself as he is pure? because, if they do not they cannot be like him." (Lecture 7 -- The Effects of Faith)
Christ was exalted because He put on the character of God. We are under the same obligation.
But the question arises as to how do we start putting on God's character? How do we know where to start? The answer: self-examination.
II. Examination
The endeavor of becoming like God requires that the person must know who he is. The common adage of "know thyself" is applicable here.
To know one's self is a simple statement, but is challenging in application. This is because while we may think we know who we are, we really don't. Why? Because almost all of us have created illusions of ourselves in order to live and function in society. Think of these illusions as masks we wear. Fallen man relies heavily upon these "masks" to function in the world. These illusions are created in many ways. It's created by our looks, talents, and successes. These illusions mediate our reality, thus distorting our view of ourselves. These illusions are our idols. And until the illusions are removed, we'll never know who we truly are. Another word for illusions is called the ego.
Ultimately to find ourselves is to lose ourselves. And we lose ourselves by seeking out experiences that show us who we really are -- experiences that strip away our illusions. In other words, the "losing" ourselves is actually losing (or more accurately, forsaking) the false identity we cling to. At the core of this losing or forsaking is a sacrificial act. This, in part, is what it means to offer ourselves unto the Lord. We give up our beliefs about ourselves for a more accurate, but humbling, view of who we really are. And because its humbling, it'll undoubtedly be painful along the way. But through the furnace of affliction, we become more like gold.
We began to process of stripping away the false self by using life experiences and connection with God. The following experiences and instruments we can utilize to improve our character:
1. Trials
The Lord has arranged our lives for a particular reason. He has placed us in families and environments that are designed to reveal our flaws to us. The Lord uses trials to reveal our character flaws to us.
Trials are brutal and challenging, but they are essential for our salvation because they provide a standard we can measure ourselves by. It's easy to believe we are good; but it's a different thing to put that belief to the test. Likewise, it's easy to say that we have faith in the Lord, but it's another thing to put that faith into action.
Fortunately or unfortunately (depending on the person) this is one of the purposes of the trials and tribulations in the end times. The trials we experience are used to test whether what we profess to believe is what we do.
For instance, we may believe that God is good. But what happens when everything we love is taken from us? Will we still believe that God is good? Many will not. Many will instead remain in their deception and curse God and die. Others, however, will continue to believe that God is good. And by so doing, show that they are who they say they are -- and that the trust God no matter what.
This leads to an important point: Humans are notorious at over-evaluating themselves. Most of us will rank ourselves higher than we really are. This has been replicated through numerous studies. Because we are bad are accurately assessing who we are, we need a test to set a standard. Just like scholastic tests are used to test the student's skill-set and knowledge, tests in life serve the same purpose. Each trial is designed to teach us more about ourselves by revealing whether our character align with our beliefs.
To make trials the most effective requires us to endure and learn, instead of seeking for deliverance. If we plead for God to remove a trial once we experience it, it's akin to walking out of a scholastic test. We'll never learn. Thus when trials occur, our focus should be to learn from the Lord. Often the trial we experience has been caused by us or at least made worse by our action in response to the trial. But regardless of what caused it, we can always use trials to learn more about ourselves.
6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons... 11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. 12 Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; 13 And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed. (Hebrews 12)
But in addition to enduring trials, we also have the option of enduring more than we normally would. Those who endure additional trials are those who move on from justification to sanctification. It is these who are worthy to be members of the Church of the First-Born, who have not loved their loves unto death (see D&C 76).
The writer of Hebrews touches on this principle when talking about the ancients who obtained great and mighty faith, writes: "others were tortured, not accepting deliverance; that they might obtain a better resurrection". The writer of Hebrews implies that those who were tortured could have been delivered from their suffering, but they chose not because they desired a "better resurrection" -- a greater position in the next life. After all, Christ taught that there are "many mansions in heaven". Mansions refer to abodes, places that we inhabit. We will receive the mansion respective to our works. The greater the works, the greater the mansion.
But in addition to trials serving as a measuring stick, they also serve as teacher and instructor. Each trial we experience will benefit us because it will improve our character. Every trial, if we allow it, has the potential to make us more humble, loving, giving, honest, and/or diligent than we were before.
2. Prayer
Pleading to the Lord, David petitions:
Judge me, O Lord; for I have walked in mine integrity: I have trusted also in the Lord; therefore I shall not slide. Examine me, O Lord, and prove me; try my reins and my heart. For thy lovingkindness is before mine eyes: and I have walked in thy truth.
Like David, we should take time during our prayers for a honest self-evaluation. We should plead to God to reveal what we lack. And we should be honest about asking. As Harold B. Lee taught, “Every one of us, if we would reach perfection, must [at] one time ask ourselves this question, ‘What lack I yet?’”
Learning where we fall short can be bitter and discouraging. To avoid discouragement, we should seek for humility. The characteristic of a humble person is one who is willing to seek out correction. A humble person is glad when he's shortcoming are pointed out. A humble person, in sum, glories in correction because he knows that each successive correction will improve his character.
To use prayer for self-evaluation, we need to set time aside for deep contemplative prayer. What this means will vary depending on the individual. But the general rule is to set at least 10-15 minutes aside where you take time to examine you life with a fine-tooth comb. One suggestion is to go through you day or week, examining how you behaved, and noting the times where you fell short, asking the Spirit to guide you.
As we continue to do this and repent, changing our behavior based on our insights, and changing our behavior based on what we know to be right, the Lord will begin to reveal where we fall short in things we are not aware of this.
Thus what this process looks like is that we first correct things that are knowingly doing that are wrong. Later, we then seek for the revelations about things we are unknowingly doing wrong. It is with the later that we turn to the Lord for guidance. His response may not be immediate, and may require diligence and persistence, but He will respond. His response can come directly to us or it can come by circumstances that arise, which show us where we fall short.
3. The Holy Ghost
In tandem with praying is the Holy Ghost. The Lord's ability to reveal what we unknowingly lack is based on the how much of the Spirit we have in our lives. Just as light varies in degrees and the varying degrees reveal our environment, so it is with the Holy Ghost. The more of the Holy Ghost you have in your life, the more you'll see things as they are, which also entails see your actions as they are.
4. Relationships
Relationships can also serve to show us where we fall short. For those who are married, having a spouse is a blessing for this reason. Marriage affords the opportunity to learn and receive feedback and correction. Marriage entails an intimate bond between man and woman.
When the Lord created man, He noted that it was not good for man to be alone. As a result, he provided a "help-meet" in the form of a woman. The joining of man and woman together made the creation good. Through the covenant of marriage, man and woman work to become "one flesh". However, the work of becoming one flesh is a process, which requires learning and growing.
As those who are married can attest, the ecstasy of the initial months of marriage wanes and then comes the work of making the marriage work. This work is often mundane and frustrating. Through this process there may be things that your spouse does that bothers you and vice versa. Disagreements will inevitably arise. And all of this may be more compounded when kids are brought into the picture.
Yet it is those moments of disagreement where growth can occur. This is because disagreements arise because couples have a differing view about something. It is this conflict that shows what aspect in the marriage is preventing each couple from becoming one flesh. In other words, the conflict shows where each person falls short.
Couples that are open and honest with each other are ones that have the potential to grow into strong and lasting ones. When disagreements arise between you and your spouse, you should use that time as a learning moment and embrace it. Invariably these moments will involve hard conversation and you may have to heard hard things about yourself that are unsettling. But those hard things may be the things you need to hear about yourself in order to improve -- and our serving as obstacles to a more fulfilling marriage relationship and life.
It could be that some of your weaknesses are the very thing causing you unnecessary suffering or hardship. Maybe you don't pull your weight equally around the house. And because weaknesses don't stay confined in our "homes" your tendency to shirk responsibilities shows up in the workplace. And perhaps that's the reason why you haven't received a promotion or raise.
If we permit, marriage is where we can learn a great deal about ourselves. And for those who served missions, missionary companionships function a lot like a marriage. In fact, besides my marriage, my mission was where my character changed (for the better) the most.
To share a personal example, I had a few companions that were honest enough to tell me that I took things too personally. In the past (prior to my mission), when people told me this, I would react negatively and get offended, thereby shutting down any chance for communication and improvement. One companion was blunt about it. Initially, I immediately reacted negatively and made some quick retorts and went silent -- feeling wounded. But later I came to my senses (thank heavens!) and realized that my companion had a point, I asked him to explain more. What resulted was the full exposure of my weakness. It was humbling and hard to bear.
Through our discussion, I realized that much of my suffering (mostly manifested through depressive symptoms) was the result of my actions -- particularly in how I responded to people. Over the remainder of that companionship, my companion worked with me to get over that weakness. This change took time and work and did not happen immediately. It required me to accept his honest feedback. And the progress fluctuated.
However, at the end of my mission I was paired with a companion who I had at the beginning (i.e., I had the same companion twice). As I was leaving to go home, that companion explained how much he had seen me grow and that I was a different person from when we first served together. And this happened because I had someone who was with me daily and willing to be honest. And I accepted his feedback. Personally, I believe this was a tender mercy from the Lord to show me that I had indeed changed for the better.
But marriage is not the only place where learning about one's self can occur. Learning can occur within friends and family. Although not as ideal as marriage, friends and family, if they chose to be honest, can serve to point out the flaws of others. Of course, we should be cautious with friends, as some friends, quite honestly, don't have our best interest at heart, and the same can be said with family members.
Moreover, since God is the great mover in the universe, orchestrating events from to achieve the most optimal results, we must believe that God will put people in our lives to teach us. Reflecting on how my character changed, I realized that God put people in my way who, if I would've listened more intently to, could've taught me important (but hard) truths about myself. Fortunately, in the end, I finally wised up and listened, but it came with a cost -- I went many years without changing my character. And for that I suffered unnecessarily.
5. Observation of People
Another way we can examine ourselves is by observing the world around us. As one person aptly stated: "life is designed to point us towards improvement." If we are paying attention, we will recognize this is true. We hear in the news of heroes who gave their life to save another. We learn of historic people who sacrificed their present for the future, resulting in benefit to million of us. Just think of the impact Thomas Edison had on society though his efforts and sacrifices. His invention has redefined, to a large extent, how economies work. Cities became safer due to electric lighting and industries became more productive.
But even in our present lives we interact with people who vary in degrees of light and truth. And within that interaction we are bound to meet people who have succeeded in areas were we failed. And this doesn't this doesn't necessarily mean worldly success. If you keep your eyes-peeled throughout your life you'll run into people who are more loving, diligent, driven, and faith than you. Each of these people you interact with can serve as a metric to compare yourself. Not a comparison out of envy, but a comparison out of the desire to improve. Much of how we define our lives is through juxtaposition.
Interacting with these people and paying attention to them when they enter our lives can yield insight into our own character. And with that, we can see where we need to improve.
6. Observation of Thoughts
As Proverbs declares: "As a man thinketh, so he is." And so it is. Ralph Waldo Emerson noted the same truth -- "A man is what he thinks about all day long."
The impetus for action is our mind. While external factors may influence us, our mind decides how to respond. Within our mind are thoughts. And those thoughts determine how we'll act. Our action, consequently, will correspond to what our thoughts dwell on. It follows then that we can change our behavior by changing what and how we think.
Although this principle is simple in theory, it is hard to do. But we must do it. To do so, we can take two simple steps in becoming masters of our mind. First step is to pay attention to our thought process. You can do this any time during the day. You can do it as part of your prayer routine or during your morning commute. You can also employ this practice when a challenging situation arises. Whenever you choose, use this time to observe your thought pattern. Pay attention to the content of your thoughts. You could ask the following questions:
- Are my thoughts more temporally or spiritually focused?
- Are the majority of thought negative or positive?
- What is the substance of my thoughts -- do I focus on noble things, or is my mind preoccupied with inconsequential matters?
- When faced with a challenging situation, do I tend to blame others instead of examining myself?
- What's my general attitude towards people? Do I get annoyed with people easily? Do I complain about people a lot?
- When I am alone, do I use that time to pray?
- Do I provide enough silence in my day to observe my thoughts?
- What is the language of my thoughts? Do I default to harsh words to define or explain things to myself? Is my language precise?
- Are my thoughts filled with anxiety and worry?
- Are my thoughts ordered or chaotic?
- Am I able to maintain and follow my stream of thought or do my thoughts gets lost in a web of others thoughts?
III. Setting a Goal and Taking Action
Once we have examined ourselves, we then need to act towards the goal. This may seem straightforward, but in reality it's more difficult than we think. For one, we need make sure that our actions lead to the goal. We all act. In fact, not "acting" is acting. Each and every moment of our lives we are "acting." The question is whether those actions are leading to improvement. And this is where the challenges arise.
Taking action to become better requires us to do things that we normally wouldn't do. After all, if we were doing them, then we wouldn't need to look for improvement in that area since we are already doing what we need to do. Thus, there is a reason why we don't normally do what we're supposed to do. And the simple answer is because it's difficult.
Oftentimes taking the action requires us to step out of our comfort zone and embrace new circumstances and/or form a more accurate conception of who we are. It may require us to address the circumstance we've been avoiding. It may mean developing a more accurate and honest picture of who we are.
For instance, maybe you're not as smart, attractive, or talented as you think. If not, are you willing to accept that and then take control of what you can in life? If you're not as smart, are you willing to put in the time to learn? Are you willing to sacrifice leisure time for study? Or what if you're not as attractive? Are you willing to change your focus on to more important things?
As you can see from these example, acting towards the goal is not easy. But it is required. The gospel is one of progression and growth. If Jesus learned line upon line, precept upon precept, would it be any different for us. As Joseph Smith taught, to be gods, we must become like God. This means that we must change our character. And we do that through heed and diligence.
To act towards our goal is to act with an "eye of faith." Eyes in the scriptures often refer to awareness or our aim -- direction (hence the use of the picture of an eye for this post). Moroni uses this term to refer to visualization. Those who look forward with an eye of faith, visualize the outcome of their actions. The process of visualization is important, but often overlooked. This is because we attract what we seek. Hence the reason why we are to "garnish" our thoughts with virtue. If we set our minds upon virtuous things, then we'll receive virtuous things from above.
We act with an "eye of faith" in a number of ways. One way is through envisioning ourselves changing and becoming different persons and envisioning the Lord helping us achieve our goals. Moreover, when we envision the end goal, we set ourselves up to do what it takes to reach that goal. This means going through whatever sacrifice is necessary.
It is through the medium of sacrifice that change occurs. The successful have and always will sacrifice the present for the future. This principle applies to all aspects of life. It therefore applies to character growth and development. If we want to be a better person, then we will have to give up our behaviors that are keeping us at our lower selves.
Those who are evil are those unwillingly to make changes within their lives. It is those who pollute society. It is those who, in their refusal to take responsibility, ask for others to do so on their behalf. It is those who continue to make poor choices, but then blame others for their circumstances. It is those, who through their action, cause others to suffer.
As we move forward, we must realize that failure is norm and that success is the exception. This means that we'll fail more than we succeed. But if we aim high and are intentions are noble, with the grace of the Lord, he will turn a dross ridden mineral into pure gold. As we grow our actions will conform more to that of heaven. And as we acquire heaven within, heaven comes from without.
IV. Masters of our Fate
We truly our masters of our fate. With faith and desire in the living God, we can achieve whatever we desire. But we have to truly desire it. Giving up when obstacles are placed in our path, shows that we really didn't desire our goal. If we desire our goal as much as a drowning man wanting air, then we will achieve.
God deigns to give us more than we can imagine. And for some people they may want riches. If that's what they desire, God will give it to them (if they truly desire it; which most don't). However, there is something more valuable than riches -- and that is building our character. Unlike riches, which will fade, character is everlasting.
When I first became aware of the importance of building character, I honestly could not see what was so important. I though that if I did my best, everything would work out. I was wrong. Instead, as I've studied to learn why character is so important, I've discovered the answer: character is important because it's what allows us to ascend upward. Those who are higher intelligences are that way because of their character. Through diligent effort and desire, they have permitted God to mold and shape them into a reflection of Him.
As on theologian put it: there is no "cosmic carwash." What he means is that the character we've developed here on earth will go with us into the next. There is no magical snap of the fingers and everyone is made god-like. To become god-like comes by our desire to subject ourselves to the experiences that will make us better.
Character, then, is the currency of heaven. It is everything. And we are in control of who we want to become, regardless of our circumstances. In this world today, if we are paying attention, we can see the devil's insidious plan coming to fruition. The devil has taken painstaking efforts in seeding the false doctrine of victimhood. He has cleverly done this through the use of scholars and esteemed thinkers, allowing their ideas to take hold of the American mind, all under the guise of "critical thinking" and "honest and unbiased" scholarship.
And this plan has, since its inception, been aimed at removing accountability from the individual. To convince them that others are responsible for their condition. And for them to spurn a desire to achieve magnificent things. By doing so, he has clipped their wings. Instead of seeing themselves as eagles, many see themselves as rodents, failing to realize that all they have to do is spread their wings, aim for the sky, and take flight.
As the scriptures teach, Satan desires for all of us to miserable like him. He achieves his purpose in many ways. Notably, he seems to be drawing from his playbook with Cain. Cain attributed his ills and failures to the Abel. As a result, Cain took on victimhood. Even after the Lord spoke to and corrected him, Cain refused, believing that he could not be free unless his brother was dead. Consequently, Cain enslaved himself by refusing to see that he was in control of his life. If he would have done well, the Lord would have accepted his offering. Sadly many people are subscribing to this view -- believing themselves to be captive, when they are free.
Let's make the choice to be more like Moses -- and desire greater things.
Moses could have remained a prince of Egypt, ensconced in the daily carnal pleasures and temporally luxury that life in pharaoh's family afforded. Instead, he chose to expand his horizons and desire something greater. He decided to look upwards. And ultimately, thru God, he wrought marvelous works and did marvelous things. He delivered Israel from bondage and wrought mighty miracles. His name is still known to this day.
Like Moses, our desires for greater things will lead us from the plushest palaces of Egypt to the most barren of wildernesses. But, we must remember: No superhero became what he was without challenges. So, too, it is with us. Press on. Forsake all sin. Be blameless before the Creator. And desire heavenly things. In sum, turn your attention "upward" and cease from looking "down" and you will see that God, indeed, Has precious things in store for those who wait upon Him.
Go and dream big. Put away the 24-hours news cycle that feed you like a patient a patient a life support. Put away the corruptible things of the world which will are like vapor and will soon vanish. In short: put away what you think you know and seek for truth. Seek for correction and understanding. And last, weary God until he blesses you.
There are many mansions in heaven, but not all the mansions are the same. Fortunately, we decide were we want to live by the choices we make each and every day -- and hence, the kingdom of heaven is within.
Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God. And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy, without spot. (Moroni 10: 31-33)
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