How do we approach God? More specifically, when things look bad and the heavens seem like brass, how do we reach out to God? Do we turn to him in our time of need, not letting go until we are delivered from our pain? Or, conversely, do we look for ways to numb ourselves from the pain. Do we turn to substances or entertainment to cover our sorrows. If the later, is that the correct way to respond? Does God want us to avail ourselves of modern conveniences to relive our pain and suffering? Is he offended and turned away by expression of frustration and feelings about what has happened?
Our response to this question may reveal our proper relationship with God.
Over the years, I have experienced much heartache and pain. Dream and hopes have been dashed before my eyes, leaving me to question where God was in the midst of it all. During my younger years, I would question God and then find someone to distract myself from the pain. I would seek out friends, movie, or recreation to help. This was foolish. But I think for many of us, we do the same. And while this may work, at least for a time, it is not truly working. Instead, we are escaping moments where we could turn to God, and where, in turn, God can heal us.
I do not have complete access to God's mind. However, the Holy Spirit, at times, has given me an opening. One thing I have learned through the Spirit is despite how difficult my trials were, they were for my benefit. My trials have been brought about for my instruction and sanctification, and I have realized that God has used each trial to bring me closer to him. I think this is why that the author of Hebrews remarks, "Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby." (Hebrews 12:11).
But this process also comes with a caveat:
6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. (Hebrews 12: 6-8, emphasis added).To endure implies that the thing which we are enduring will be difficult. But to endure doesn't mean that we seek to numb ourselves or distract ourselves from the pain we are experiencing. It is the opposite: to endure God's chastening is to embrace it, and in that moment to let God be our focus. Pain and suffering, however unfortunate a truth, is a great instructor. It is in the moments of pain and suffering that we have an opportunity to turn to God in humility, broken and shattered and receive guidance from Him.
One theologian explained it appropriately,
The way to a deeper knowledge of God is through the lonely valleys of soul poverty and abnegation of all things...The ancient curse [the natural man] will not go out painlessly; the tough old miser within us will not lie down and die obedient to our command. He must be torn out of our heart like a plant from the soil; he must be extracted in agony and blood like a tooth from the jaw. He must be expelled from our soul by violence as Christ expelled the money changers from the temple. ---A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God (brackets added).When we try to numb or distract ourselves from the pain, that is not enduring but retreating from seeking after and being healed by God. Each trial is designed for our benefit and instruction. Trials reveal our priority and real desires. They also give us the opportunity to humble ourselves further before our God. Thus when trials occur, the best approach, the only fruitful approach, is to turn to God, giving him your heart and expressing your pain so that he can heal you.
But lest this be too abstract, there is a video produced by the Bible Project explaining what the book of Lamentations is the Bible is about. And more importantly, how we can use it to draw closer to God by expressing our grief and pain in honestly and humility.
In reflecting on this video, I am reminded of the following verse from Isaiah's description of the Messianic Kingdom:
He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of his people shall he take away from off all the earth: for the Lord hath spoken it. (Isaiah 25: 8)While the end of the journey is joy beyond measure, the journey itself is entails sorrow and pain. After all, the author and finisher of our faith experienced more pain that we could even imagine. In his darkest moments, He too, cried unto God for support, but did not receive an answer, only to remain with the feeling isolation. On the cross, left naked for the word to see, He quoted the Psalms, crying out "eli eli lama sabachtani" (God, god, why have you left/forsaken/abandoned me?") only to receive insults and taunting from the crowd below and silence from the heavens above.
But it is notable that in His time of need, He followed from the Hebrew tradition of lamenting. He didn't hold back his feelings or thoughts, but instead, in his last moments of pain and suffering, cried to God for answers.
May His example be an example to us. That when we are down and out, feeling that all is lost, we will not feel ashamed or unworthy to yearn for God in the deepest of sorrows and through our tears. Reaching out in the darkness, our voices ascending heavenward, pleading, yearning, and lamenting after and for the great Father of Lights. For as Isaiah prophesies, the Lord God will wipe away our tears and he will restore us. Therefore, lean on Him. For his mighty to deliver.
...I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day...I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that was sick (Ezekiel 34: verses 12 and 16, excerpted)